My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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