Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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