If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize