hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Did you pee in the oven last night??
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize