I wish I could teleport
I understand Curling. That high.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
did i just pee glitter
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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