its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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