Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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