she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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