At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize