a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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