How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
