If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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