I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
