There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
