when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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