Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
