hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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