is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize