I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
