I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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