Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
