Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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