oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
