when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
