when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
