guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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