i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
