I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
