mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
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