you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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