It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
