You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
