When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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