My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
