your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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