Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
