You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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