She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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