He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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