her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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