I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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