I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
