Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
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What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
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My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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