We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
