Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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