So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
