just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize