If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
