my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I want you more than these girls want KFC
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
