I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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