Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
