when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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