I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
