Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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