i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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