all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
