i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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