anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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