Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
