I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
