She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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