i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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