Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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