3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
