Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Randomize
