I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
PANTIES FOUND
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
