scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
