Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
