no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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