need another drink. this is the easiest way
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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