I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
