No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
